Kentsingles

The aftermath of Domestic Violence

My Story

What kind of mother is going through any length to destroy the father of their children and give hardship like this.

 

Colin Ford has shared residency meaning that he looks after the children nearly 50% of the time. No one blinks an eyelid when a woman stays at home looking after the children but the moment a man is doing that he is being considered a looser, a lazy person etc... WHY????

 

Four years ago Colin Ford circumstances changed overnight. 

 

One day Mrs Ford decided that she did not wanted to live with Mr Ford anymore and threw him out of the house (in front of their children!) He became homeless, lost his family and now also is on the edge of loosing his business after struggling for four years. 

 

Colin had to struggle for years to find a place for the children and him to live that they could call “home”.  Finally after 2 years off financial struggle the divorce settlement came through and last year he finally got some money coming out of the equity of the house that he and Mrs Ford shared with their two kids.  Mrs Ford kept the 4 bed room house worth around £275,000 plus, the car, and all their belongings in the house.  Colin Ford had to leave the house without anything but his cloths. Out of  the money he received (around £60,000) he had to pay off all outstanding debts that he and his wife had accumulated during their marriage, Mrs Ford paid nothing towards that (debts accumulated were around £20,000).

 

Yes, Mr Ford could have bought “his bachelor’s patch” as so nicely pointed out by Mrs Ford’s solicitor in court, as the solicitor just assumed as so many men and women that all men are going to do just that, but in stead Colin Ford tried his utmost to find a three bedroom house near the kids school for him and his children and succeeded in that.

 

Ironically, during the last court case, the judge found it necessary to slap Mr Ford on the risk by “not telling the truth” when Mr Ford said that he was living around 1 mile away from the school when it should have been 1.2 miles. Naughty!  That the children had no remarks of any absence or too late arrivals at school during their fathers care but had several whilst during in mothers care, who lives on the school’s doorsteps i.e. a 5-10 minutes walk away, makes you wonder what is more important for the children. 

 

If looking after two children and cooping rebuilding your life is not enough to keep you going, the numerous attacks by Mrs Ford forced Colin Ford to give so much of his pressures time - filling in lengthy papers for court cases, Cafcass cases etc.  Thus resulting in having less and less time to concentrate on his business, resulting in customers deadlines not to be met and business going under.  As mentioned in previously Mrs Ford keeps pestering Mr Ford for money for her children.

 

How come that the moment there’s a divorce,  women demand split of everything but once done and as mentioned Mr Ford gave her everything and more, they do not want to know the split 50-50 further down the road, i.e. when it comes to split the child benefit, tax credit etc. no one wants to know.  If Colin Ford would be treated the same way as Mrs Ford no doubt he would be able to re-build his life like she has done.  No doubt he will be working during the time that the kids are not in his care, like Mrs Ford does.  Colin Ford gets blamed by his wife (and get the full support by government rulings) that he is only after one thing and that’s money!  Although some institutions fully agree that Colin  Ford  should have the right on his share of the benefits whilst the kids are in his care as he is as much a carer for his kids as his ex-wife, unfortunately the facts are still quite the opposite.

 

If Mrs Ford is the main and only carer then how come that the kids do not get clothing, food etc provided once they are handed over in Colin Ford’s care?  Every mother that sends their kids  on a holiday or sleepover at friends or relatives places provide the kids with clothing and means for providing for the kids, so how come that Mrs Ford does not have to do this.

Even during a two weeks holiday, which is half of a month, Mrs Ford keep the benefits, which are there for the children and sent them away in only one set of clothing.  We even have examples of the way Mrs Ford does sent her children away on a two weeks holiday, leaving one of the children in shoes that were falling apart the day after arrival, worn through and through and at least one if not two sizes too small.  Leaving Colin Ford no other option, then to again by new trainers for his son.  Mrs Ford and all other institutions just take it for granted that Colin Ford is providing for everything and even still then do not recognise him to be a carer but officially are calling him an absent father!

 

How do you think that makes Mr Ford feel? 

 

It’s a problem for Colin Ford to go back to any form of employment, and to be fair which employer takes on someone that says; on Monday I will be in late as have to take kids to school.  On Wednesday I have to leave early i.e. 2.30 -3pm to collect kids from school - oh and by the way Next Thursday and Friday am not in as having the kids.   

 

The only solution is that Colin Ford will remain self employed in his own business, leaving him to work the hours that suits his free time (without the children) best.  

 

Colin Ford does not ask for much, only for what he believes is rightfully his.  He is as much a carer to his children as his ex-wife. 

 

Colin had a nerve breakdown and has been signed off by his local GP.  During these months he has been claming housing benefit to help him pay for his mortgage (declined).  He claimed jobseekers allowance which they provided just to be told after months that he has to pay this back!.  He claimed for himself and for the children but only got an allowance for him as again he was not seen as a carer, in spite of him having a shared residence order showing clearly the amount of time that the children are in his care! Living on a weekly base of £50 or so is a hardship with two children.

 

Another big issue is that the moment Colin Ford is capable i.e. strong and healthy enough to go back to work again, he then has to start to pay even his ex-wife again!  The person that has thrown him out still has the house, the cars, her work, her boyfriend who’s living there most of the week etc.  These are all facts that make it very hard if not impossible for Colin Ford to move forward. Ask yourself, would you work to provide for your ex-wife and her boyfriend, as there is no need to provide for the children; Colin Ford does that already 100 per cent whilst the children are in his care.  Why should he pay double?

 

At present there is another claim from the CSA of more then £1000,-- which is an amount outstanding from March last year.  In spite of the agency being fully aware that Colin Ford is on a jobseekers allowance (and so is his ex-wife) which means that he should not pay at all.

 

I appreciate that you had to read a long story but believe me it’s only a drop of the stories that Colin Ford can tell you.  There’s a lot of hardship out there, that’s why most fathers walk away from all the pain and financial problems.  Some of them do love their children just a little bit more and walk the extra mile but how long for?  How long before even for Colin Ford it will be no longer possible to go on with the fight of survival for him and his kids?  As a mother, also a dad has the right to be with his children, to care for his children, to teach his children, to protect his children and to love his children.  Is that a luxury only for women??

 

Colin Ford has now come to the end of his struggle. Financially he is broke; leaving him no other options that to abandon his children.  Is that what he wants? The answer is simple, NO.  Colin Ford just wants to be a dad for his children but has been let down by his ex-wife, government and the institutions.  

 

Question is, is there anything that Colin Ford has a right to, anything whatsoever that you can make him aware of? Any form of help will be much appreciated. 

 

Colin Ford has sent documentation to you 6 months ago, only to receive a note back that he had to reply within a week.  Due to circumstances he did not read your letter leaving him only two days to react.  This being the reason writing to you directly in the hope that you will take further action regarding Colin Ford’s request in a speedy matter.

 

Thanking you in advance for your attention